This morning, my favorite lady went home to God. My grandmother, Bess Ponzer, passed around 4am. She was, by far, the best grandma I could have ever asked for. I’m sure she wasn’t perfect, but I honestly never saw proof of that. She loved even the most difficult of her family, defended her friends faithfully, and loved God the best she could. I was blessed with 33 years spent being loved and cared for by her and am honored to say she was immensely proud of me.
Grandma wasn’t like a tv show grandma giving kisses and candies and ridiculous gifts— she was far more practical. But she was also far more loving than any grandma character I’ve ever seen. She was a great role model, working a career at a time when many women were expected to stay home and keep house. She did keep house, too, and raised seven children with more patience than I can possibly understand (if I had been raising my uncles, I would have sent them to boarding school). And on top of all of that, she was the wife of a farmer, a job in itself.
My grandmother was also an avid quilter. As a child, I refused to sleep unless I had a “grandma blankie” to sleep with. In fact, the first time I slept without one regularly was when I went to Rome at 20. I still feel best when sleeping under a quilt she made. It’s like being wrapped up in love.
I would say that I will miss her, but the truth is I have been missing her already. She hasn’t been herself for months and watching her decline has been heart breaking. To see this feisty, independent woman reduced to having strangers care for her has made me question God more than once. But she bore it more or less stoically and continued to be the best role model I have ever had. My grandmother taught me how to love despite all faults, how to have patience, and how to suffer unbearable pain. I wish she had also taught me how to cook, but it never worked out. I do take comfort in the belief that she is now with my grandfather, my Uncle Tim, my dad, and my Gary—who absolutely worshipped her. And, most of all, she is with our Lord, who she loved faithfully. I know that my family is grateful for prayers for her soul, despite the fact that I don’t think she needs them. But even more, we ask for prayers for us. Prayers for healing from grief, prayers for patience with each other, prayers for unity as a family, and prayers that we will follow my grandmother’s request that we love each other and take care of one another. I personally request prayer for my mom, who has now lost her mother and her husband in two short years, not to mention one of her very best friends to Covid last year.
Thank you for the love and support, friends.